Just Kidding, Love Sucks

The general public has managed to make Taylor Swift’s greatest strength seem like her greatest weakness, and it makes me feel sad and angry and like people are really missing out on something great. By “general public” I mean email-hosting sites and sometimes Fancier Publications, and by her “greatest strength” I mean Taylor’s unique ability to focus in on one detail or exchange and magnify it completely in this way that makes it feel at once universal and deeply personal. I don’t want to devote too much of this holy ink and paper to haterz, but I do want to free your mind from any reservations about the Swift Power in order to fully prepare you for a MAGIC-CARPET ROLLER-COASTER RIDE across this CANDY LAND BOARD of a DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE from BRITAIN(= NOT LIKING TAYLOR SWIFT).

Swifties see the characteristic at hand for what it is: writing. Her songs are her point of view, making it her job to blow up the most minor event into something that more accurately represents the way she experienced it. As Tay quoted Neruda in her Red liner notes, “Love is so short, forgetting is so long.” This is basic Nabokov shit, right? Everything hits harder in memory. Everything changes color. Her first album will tell you she is a natural crusher, daydreamer, hopeless romantic. Obsessing over the briefest of encounters is what we do. She was just born to translate it for millions of people. And I don’t think her commercial responsibilities detract from her genuine passion for her craft. Have you ever watched her in interviews when she gets asked about her actual songwriting? She becomes that kid who’s really into the science fair. Her hands go crazy and she explains all the different categories she breaks emotions into and how they all have their own individual sounds. Then the interviewer totally doesn’t get it because it’s 60 Minutes and they were hoping for a pleasant little soundbite instead of, like, an Andrew Kuo–style verbalization of the human psyche. And Taylor smiles, perfectly aware she just weirded them out, perfectly aware it’s the same weirdness from which she pulls all these beautiful songs.

So the fact that people think they’re, like, Nancy Drew for claiming that none of her relationships have lasted long enough for her to be able to write a song about them really proves only that she has this uncanny talent for dressing up an experience until what happened matches how it felt. I don’t care that her relationships aren’t long-term—she’s a little busy running a goddamn empire! I don’t care if she only dates...