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Why Can’t My Son Vote?

Paul Collins

A Brief and Annoying History of Kazoo Orchestras

Paul Collins

The Fickle Needle of Fate

Paul Collins

Sobbing Children and Singing Shillings

Paul Collins

Picture a man climbing the stairs of the Royal Exchange in London—this is in the old days of the grand stone building, before it burned down, in 1838—and imagine him ascending ...

Buzzkill

Paul Collins

Bite Me: A Brief History of Dentistry and Music

Paul Collins

A Book for the Millions

Paul Collins

Ker-Chunk!

Paul Collins

Namejacking

Paul Collins

The Molecatcher’s Daughter

Paul Collins

A Brief History of Rock Music

Paul Collins

Let Us Now Gaze, Famous Men

Paul Collins

The Hatchet Man

Paul Collins

The Lost Symphony

Paul Collins

You and Your Dumb Friends

Paul Collins

Read the Book that You Are Reading

Paul Collins

The Road to Nowhere

Paul Collins

Why Can’t My Son Vote?

Paul Collins

Jul 10 2024

My son doesn’t ask for stories at bedtime anymore, but he still wants me next to him when he’s falling asleep. “This is the craziest elephant ride I’ve ever taken,” Morgan ...

A Brief and Annoying History of Kazoo Orchestras

Paul Collins

Dec 13 2023

A membranophone belonging to the mirliton (or “eunuch flute”) family, the kazoo has a deep and profound history; and of the playing of many kazoos at once, we find a ...

The Fickle Needle of Fate

Paul Collins

Jul 1 2011

(Crackle.) (Crackle.) (Crackle.) (Crackle.) “Howdy, this is Steve Allen. No—wait a minute, don’t go looking in the glove compartment. I’m not there. I’m not really ...

Sobbing Children and Singing Shillings

Paul Collins

Jul 1 2009

Picture a man climbing the stairs of the Royal Exchange in London—this is in the old days of the grand stone building, before it burned down, in 1838—and imagine him ascending ...

Buzzkill

Paul Collins

Sep 1 2008

“What’s the hacksaw for?” I ask Mark Twain. “For these.” He grabs a stack of bamboo rods from the back of his car, and adds a large butterfly net, thick rolls of duct tape, a ...

Bite Me: A Brief History of Dentistry and Music

Paul Collins

Jul 1 2008

The auditory capacities of teeth may be demonstrated through a simple test. First, find a quiet room to sit in. If you are wearing an analog watch, remove it from your wrist. ...

A Book for the Millions

Paul Collins

Nov 1 2007

Almanacs are at once cosmically true in their times and tides and yet comically false in their weather predictions and home-brew cures. Jasper Goodykoontz, then, might have ...

Ker-Chunk!

Paul Collins

Jun 1 2007

Dave Biro had a sound in his head, and it went sort of like this: Ahhhhh-AHHHHHH-Ahhhhhh He’d been listening nonstop to a new 8-track, Tales from Topographic Oceans; ...

Namejacking

Paul Collins

Apr 1 2007

For an editor, dead authors are notably easier to work with than living ones. This probably explains why, in 1731, the London printer Thomas Astley was able to coax a most ...

The Molecatcher’s Daughter

Paul Collins

Nov 1 2006

The letters arrived in the winter of 1827 at Mr. Foster’s shop on Leadenhall Street, dozens of them written in the careful quill-scratches of women from across London. Outside ...

A Brief History of Rock Music

Paul Collins

Jun 1 2006

JUNE 11, 1785: ROCK MUSIC INVENTED In the Lake District village of Keswick—helpfully described by one contemporary traveler as a “filthy town”—retired sailor Peter ...

Let Us Now Gaze, Famous Men

Paul Collins

Jan 1 2006

Thomas Paine keeps staring at me from this old book, his nose bent to one side like an aged boxer’s. He’s had a tough life and an even tougher afterlife. I’ve spent the last ...

The Hatchet Man

Paul Collins

Oct 1 2005

There is a spot in London where you may stand perfectly still and see nine streets all at once. Or, at least, you used to be able to: Shaftesbury Avenue swallowed up a couple ...

The Lost Symphony

Paul Collins

Nov 1 2004

FIRST MOVEMENT Reader: I extend my greetings to the twenty-third century! No, I don’t mean you, who bought this issue of the Believer off the newsstand: you are dead by now. ...

You and Your Dumb Friends

Paul Collins

Mar 1 2004

I am perfectly willing to read celebrity memoirs, but only if they conclude with a crowd of children smashing the author over the head with an iron poker. Then, ideally, he ...

Read the Book that You Are Reading

Paul Collins

Oct 1 2003

It takes a certain perverse talent for a writer to make their credibility completely self-destruct in ten words or less. Yet with enough hard work and stupidity, it can indeed ...

The Road to Nowhere

Paul Collins

Jul 1 2003

Here’s an idea for a book: Take a Monopoly board. Roll the dice. Now, visit each street you land on in person, and write about it. Yes, it’s a gimmick. But it happens to be ...