When Chuck Palahniuk didn’t show up for our initial Zoom interview, I assumed he was dead. Chuck is never late, let alone AWOL. Chuck is punctual. Chuck is clear. The subject lines to Chuck’s emails are declarative, to the point of him sounding like AI. The last three I received were, “Hello from Chuck Palahniuk,” “Chuck checking in,” and “Welcome to Portland.”

After fifteen minutes of staring at my own face, hoping the author himself would pop into the frame, I felt a lurch of concern in my stomach, clicked the red button to end the meeting, and went for a walk. Maybe he was just hurt in an accident. Something small, like a broken foot.