Listen to This One: Man Choubam

Sharon Mashihi is a radio producer and one of the editors of The Heart podcast. This month I’m featuring a radio piece about a Persian self-help cruise she took with her mom, hoping to improve their relationship. The piece is called Man Choubam, which translates to “I Am Good.”

I called Sharon in Los Angeles to talk about her new life there, how she wants to be a mother, and how she often feels like a bad daughter. We also caught up about her upcoming podcast Appearances, which will be out later this year from from Mermaid Palace and Radiotopia, a fictional story about an Iranian family.

—Bianca Giaever

BIANCA GIAEVER: So I’m wondering, did your mom ever end up hearing Man Choubam?

SHARON MASHIHI: Not to my knowledge.

BG: Does that make you sad?

SM: Yeah. But I’m also scared she’ll listen and be hurt.

BG: Was there a period of time where you were trying to get her to listen?

SM: No, and I regret that. When the piece was going to come out, I said to her, “I’m scared for you to listen, I’m worried you’ll feel exposed.” Then I scared her, and made her not want to listen. If I’d been braver, I’d just be like, here’s my boyfriend and here’s my radio piece.

BG: So we’ve both made films and made radio. Which do you prefer, both as a consumer and a maker?

SH: As a maker, radio. As a consumer, film.

BG: Me too. That’s because radio is easier, I think. Do you see film as the aspirational medium?

SM: I struggle with having the courage and the vision to direct film. When I found radio, I thought it worked much better with my personality, because it’s more iterative. I try something out, it doesn’t work, and I adjust it. 

BG: Yes, that’s much cheaper to do in radio. There are people who make films iteratively, but it’s very stressful. 

SM: Yes, my friend Josephine Decker is iterative. But she has the fucking balls to be that way. I have historically lacked that courage. I hope to step into it.

BG: Do radio for a few decades, then turn to film.

SM: But also, I’ve always been a writer. As writers are, you’re a writer from the time you’re six or seven years old. This is why it was incredible when my friend introduced me to This American Life when I was twenty-four. I’ve always written for my own voice to read the writing...